if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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