You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got inside last night via doggy door
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
