you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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