I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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