The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
