Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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