If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
