what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
