I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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