Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Acid is not a monday night drug
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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