did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
