Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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