just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
