im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
