I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
