That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
