Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
