I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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