Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
