My boss' voice literally gives me gas
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
