Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
