you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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