She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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