My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
