whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
