i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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