She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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