Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
