No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
