No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
