You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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