They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
