TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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