dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
