I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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