Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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