We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
