My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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