Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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