I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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