I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
