People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
