a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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