420 ftw
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
