Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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