yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
