I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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