woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
