I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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