i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
