worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
